Grace and Love

Communicating about religion with my family is an area I feel I have struggled with as a mother thus far.  Besides modeling my faith, going to church, and praying before meals, I felt unsure how much to say, what to say, and how to explain God and Jesus to my children.  Thankfully many pieces have fallen into place this year and I feel we as a family are making great strides.  First, I am thankful for my Moms group at church who has lifted me up and given me strength and grace where I did not know I had it.  My small group of women has opened my eyes to see that my "person" is important.  I cannot care for others until I care for my needs.  I think I knew it, but now I believe that Motherhood is a ministry.  Yes, I now view making lunches, folding laundry, and picking up toys as a "gift of self" to those I love.  It really eases my mind.  Second, I am thankful we are able to send our children to a school that opens up religious dialogue on their level because lately the questions have been flowing, especially from Jack.  One day recently Jack asked me, "Mommy, why did God send those tornadoes?" (Referring to the recent devastating tornadoes just across the river in Indiana).  Hard questions, and big questions from a 5 year old.  I am filled with joy as I see Jack growing in his understanding and I am overwhelmed by the love and grace that fills my children.  Jack told me this evening that "God gave us Jesus. And Jesus died so that we can go to heaven." Wow. 
We recently started a new routine with the boys at bedtime for prayers.  It was a suggestion made to me by a seasoned mother of four.  Each evening we alternate prayers between praying for someone or something and saying prayers of thanks. The other night while we were saying our prayers before bed together (which by the way is rapidly becoming my favorite part of the day), Jack said "I want to pray for you Mommy." To which I replied, "Thank you Jack. Being a Mommy is hard sometimes, just like being a five year old can be hard sometimes too. I need your prayers." As I said this I gave him a gentle high five, and Jack's response, "I'm five, that's a whole hand (of fingers). I'm a hand full!" Yes, Jack, yes you are! I couldn't have said it better myself!  Sweet Calvin's prayers are completely family centered.  He prays for Mommy, Daddy, Jack, and Mary Lee every evening.  He is thankful for these same people too.  Calvin makes my heart burst with love when he gets out of bed (for the hundredth time some nights) and says in a whisper, "Mommy, I have a secret for you...  I love you."  It is impossible to stay mad at this child for long.

That fear I once had when I was pregnant with Calvin.. how would I ever love this baby as much as my first? ...seems crazy.  Love doesn't divide it only grows.  And it seems my heart is busting at the seams.  I am amazed how love for my children, the experience of unconditional love, also grows my love for others in my life... Scott, my parents, my brother, my in-laws, aunts, cousins.... it is an incredible feeling. 

My loves...

-Mommy/Amy